Category: Transforming Trauma Podcast

In this episode of Transforming Trauma, NARM Senior Trainer Brad Kammer is joined by Clementine Morrigan, writer, podcaster, socialist, and trauma educator. Clementine embodies their teaching, sharing and perspective in the courageous trauma-informed work they are doing, specifically addressing the shame-based dynamics of what is presently referred to as “cancel culture”. Clementine is a strong advocate for a new understanding of the dynamics of cancel culture, and how publicly canceling fellow human beings impacts individuals and communities. In this discussion, Clementine shares about the psychological impact for individuals who are publicly shamed and rejected, and how trauma-informed therapists can play a role in individual healing and relational repair.

Clementine presents the concept of the “Nexus”, which is a synthesis of identitarianism, social media, and cancel culture, and about the traumatogenic nature of this synthesis. Through their research and experience, Clementine has found that leaving the Nexus, and/or experiencing cancel culture, has traumatic effects similar to complex trauma due to the loss of relational connection. Feeling ostracized or excommunicated has long-term effects because it prevents future attempts at creating connection and community. Clementine suggests that in the world of cancel culture, the relational understanding of “rupture and repair” do not seem to exist.

Clementine recounts their own experience in the Nexus which led them to a hypervigilant obsession with social justice culture since they felt fear that if they made mistakes, they’d be defined by them and not allowed to live them down. This time in Clementine’s life felt like walking a fine line between wanting to act from a place of integrity that honors human dignity for all people and the shamed-based behavior of not wanting to get in trouble. They highlight the importance of not defining people by their behaviors, but rather by their human potential; something they learned through their own therapy work and their involvement in twelve-step communities. 

Connection, therapy, and twelve-step programs are what Clementine cites as contributing to their deprogramming of the Nexus-way of thinking. All of the internal work allowed them to create healthy boundaries and live their integrity. It has also allowed them to rebuild a community with shared values; a community that speaks openly about cancel culture and strives for solidarity, freedom and responsibility.

We are grateful to Clementine for sharing their story and their insight to the nexus. We invite you to listen to the full episode to hear more about the adverse effects of cancel culture and how to overcome them.

About:

Clementine Morrigan has been writing and publishing for more than 20 years, having written several zines and books. They are also a podcaster as one half of the podcast F-ing Cancelled. They’re the creator of the popular Trauma Informed Polyamory workshop as well as several other workshops. She is a trauma educator, an opposer of cancel culture, a sex educator, a person living with complex ptsd, a sober alcoholic, and a proud dog mom to Clover “the dog” Morrigan.

Learn More:

clementinemorrigan.com

patreon.com/clementinemorrigan

fuckingcancelled.libsyn.com

In this episode of Transforming Trauma, NARM Senior Trainer Brad Kammer is joined by Bill Lokey, former Clinical Director and Licensed Senior Psychological Examiner out of the Nashville area, and current NARM trainee. Brad reflects on inviting Bill to join him on the podcast due to meeting him in recent NARM Training, and how moved and inspired Brad was by Bill’s journey.  Bill speaks openly and honestly about his cancer journey and how he is attempting to live each day to its fullest.  

Bill shares how he was inspired to sign up for the NARM Therapist Training through trusted colleagues and friends and how NARM is supporting him in his current phase of life.  It has challenged him to walk his talk, which has to do with showing up authentically and living more intentionally.  

When reflecting on his process of becoming a psychotherapist, Bill recalls being inspired by a therapist who seemed to touch many people’s lives by the way he had lived his life and supported others.  Bill wanted to learn how to make that kind of impact on others.  He wanted to live a life full of meaning.  He soon realized that beyond academic and clinical training, receiving his own therapy was a big part of this process. He is a true believer that one can only be honest with others when one is honest with themselves. For Bill, this meant loving better, experiencing more intimacy, and improving all his relationships. 

Bill also shares about his personal experience with overcoming codependency. He attributes the success of his personal and professional relationship with wife Laurie to the ongoing recovery work that they do on their own. This has also contributed to the success they have as they work with individuals and couples dealing with the effects of trauma. Together, they embody their intention for their clients, which is to “awaken to truth and freedom”.

This outlook has created a strong foundation for him and his family as they face his long-term health condition. Bill, however, shares that he believes it is important for everyone, not just those dealing with long-term illnesses, to take stock on how they are living their lives. He encourages others to get support in showing up more for others, as well as themselves, because that is where true connections are made and what makes life truly worth living.

We are grateful to Bill for sharing his wisdom and desire for radical living and connection. We invite you to listen to the full episode to hear more about authenticity, freedom, and living more intentionally.

About:

Bill Lokey is most renowned as a husband to Laurie, a father, and grandfather. Formerly a Clinical Director and Licensed Senior Psychological Examiner, he now gives presentations about trauma, rising through adversity, overcoming codependency, and connection in relationships. Along with his wife Laurie, Bill conducts engaging experiential workshops for couples and large organizations. His personal relationship with God is the thing that sustains him and his family through hardship and guides them in abundance.

Learn More:

https://billandlaurielokey.com/

In this episode of Transforming Trauma, our host Emily is joined by David J. Wallin, Phd. Dr. Wallin is a psychologist who has been practicing, writing, and teaching about psychotherapy for nearly four decades with an emphasis on attachment theory and research into an innovative framework that grounds adult psychotherapy in the facts of childhood development.

In talking about his highly respected book, Attachment in Psychotherapy, Dr. Wallin shares how it is a resource he wished he had when he was starting off as a psychotherapist. Wallin’s interest in relationships led him to explore deeper into the therapeutic relationship, which he says is a developmentally facilitative relationship where psychotherapy intersects with attachment theory.  He highlights the important clinical implications of attachment theory research and how it informs practitioners how they can be of maximum help to the people that come to them for help. A significant part of his work focuses on the idea that therapy heals by providing clients with a new attachment relationship. 

As Dr. Wallin reflects on his experience as a psychotherapist and the necessities of the person as therapist to show up with clients with presence.  He describes the challenges he experienced when he wasn’t fully present with his clients, as well as what he’s learned through his studies into attachment theory. Leaning on the research and influence by Peter Fonagy’s work on mentalization, Wallin came to the conclusion that for therapy to heal, it had to go beyond the therapists’ formal training and theoretical understanding; it must include who the therapist is as a person, and better yet include the therapist’s relationship to their own attachment history. In his words, “What we are able to provide as therapists really has to do with who we are as people as much as anything…”

We are grateful to learn from Dr. Wallin about the ways attachment theory supports depth of understanding and connection for therapists. We invite you to listen to the full episode to hear more about the importance of presence in psychotherapy.

About:

David Wallin is a psychologist who has been practicing, writing, and teaching about psychotherapy for nearly four decades. His most recent book, Attachment in Psychotherapy, has been translated into thirteen languages and he has presented his work to clinicians in Europe, Australia, New Zealand, China, Canada, and throughout the US. Near retirement, he is currently transitioning from psychotherapy to songwriting.

Learn More:

Book – Attachment in Psychotherapy by David J. Wallin

In this episode of Transforming Trauma, our host Emily is joined by Iya Affo, culturalist and historical trauma specialist. Iya is an executive board member on the Arizona ACES Consortium, serves as the Chair of the Historical Trauma committee, and is the founder of Heal Historical Trauma. Heal Historical Trauma is an organization that offers interactive training in Cultural Competency, ACEs, trauma, and historical trauma, as well as Meditation & Healing. Iya’s work focuses on a cultural and neurobiological perspective of historical trauma. She presents the question, “What happened in the past, and how does that manifest in people today?” She has traveled to more than 25 countries and has lived a life dedicated to cultivating love and inclusivity and facilitating decolonization and subsequent healing of indigenous people.

Exploring cultural expressions historically used to manage adversity, Iya highlights a dance of the White Mountain Apache tribe that would be performed by warriors returning home as a debriefing. “That’s what they did to restore their neurological regulation before they rejoin the community because we know that if we are dysregulated, we have behaviors that are aggressive and abusive and hostile […] so there was a way of doing that through traditional dance and song before people were stripped of their cultural identity.” she says. Iya describes further exploring reconnection to traditional neurologically regulating activities such as the rhythmic healing sound of washing clothes by hand or walking a significant distance to get water during her time living in an ashram in India. 

She and Emily discuss how as society progressed over time, we’ve moved away from these practices and into habits that dysregulate us and start our days with stress. “We can leverage our knowledge of the neurological system to allow us to have more opportunities to have a flood of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins in our system. And when we do that, it gives us a larger window of tolerance with our stress response.” Iya points to the Cherry Blossom study, underscoring the beginning of one’s biological life as an egg in the womb of our grandmothers. Through the knowledge of epigenetics, we understand that the trauma can be imprinted on us before even the birth of our own mothers but we can also pass down positive experiences, benevolence, and love. “What you do today and how you change your life today has the potential to impact the next 14 generations.”

We are deeply grateful to have Iya discuss reconnecting to traditional ways of being as an act of healing and we invite you to listen to the full episode to hear more about Healing Historical Trauma with Iya Affo.

About:

Iya Affo is a Culturalist and Historical Trauma Specialist. She earned Western certification as a Trauma Specialist and is a descendant of a long line of traditional healers from Benin Republic, West Africa. Iya has visited more than 25 countries around the world and has resided in Native American, Yoruba, Buddhist, Hindu and Taoist communities in various countries. While on pilgramage to Benin Republic, she lived among Medicine Men and Women to learn the ways of the Shaman and understand the truth about the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade. In China, she lived in the Shaolin Temple, the cradle of Zen Buddhism, and immersed herself in Chinese culture. After a spiritual calling to India, Iya sojourned in a Hindu spiritual community and lived a minimal lifestyle while imbuing Hindu customs and ideology. Serving Navajo Nation and the Gila River Indian Community, Iya found a home among the egalitarian, indigenous people of North America.

After living abroad for several years, Iya returned to the United States and in December 2018. She debuted her presentation of The Symphony of Traditional Medicine and Western Medicine to Heal ACES and Historical Trauma at the 2018 National ACES Conference in San Francisco, California. Iya is the founder of Heal Historical Trauma and the International Historical Trauma Association. 

Learn More:

healhistoricaltrauma.com 

In this episode of Transforming Trauma, our host Emily is joined by Kirsten Timmer and Jens Heidegger. Kirsten Timmer is a licensed psychologist, psychotherapist, co-founder, and CEO of TransParents and Jens Bode is a licensed doctor, lead course facilitator, trainer, and supervisor at TransParents. TransParents is a platform for parents and professionals who are committed to creating meaningful relationships with children while respecting and preserving life processes. With a focus on the importance of the parent-child relationship, their work lies in strengthening that connection by utilizing a trauma-informed approach. 

In their training, they invite curiosity by employing tools like puppets and roleplay for parents to see how they can relate to their children in a more supportive, playful way. As Jens shares, “We have them play themselves and another participant plays their children. And then we have them swap roles so they can step into the shoes of their own children and feel how it feels on the inside. What the needs may be, what the deeper reasons may be, and what the parenting styles feel like.” In this act of playful discovery, there is a heartfelt openness that can strengthen parent-child connections.

In reconnecting to her own childhood and raising a son, Kirsten came to understand the importance of how attachment impacts how we relate to ourselves and others. She describes becoming a parent for the first time as “an invitation to life, to grow.” She reflects on how we want to parent versus how our baggage and the “old identifications” from our childhood disrupt the connection to our children. Kirsten and Jens support parents in a shift from shaming themselves to developing deep curiosity for themselves and their children. Jens says, “The cause of it is that you develop more freedom, more possibilities, more agency, that are then helpful for the kids.”

We hope you will enjoy this episode with Kirsten Timmer and Jens Heidegger. We deeply are grateful to be joined by members of the international NARM community and for the pair sharing about their work and how they use NARM to enrich their organization, TransParents.

We invite you to listen to the full episode and follow Transforming Trauma in Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app.

About:

Kirsten Timmer is one of the founders and CEO of TransParents. She is a psychologist, psychotherapist, and parenting advisor. She was trained in Client-Centered Therapy by Carl Rogers and in NARM® by Dr. L. Heller and has her own practice. She is also a senior student of Thomas Hübl, a contemporary spiritual teacher and mystic. Jens is a specialist in psychosomatics and psychotherapy trained in Behavioral Therapy at IVB Berlin and trained in NARM® by Dr. L. Heller. Jens is one of TransParents’ lead course facilitators, trainer, and supervisor of the mentor team.

Learn More:

www.TransParents.net