Transforming Trauma: Episode 131

You know those early days of an exciting new romance? That initial passion usually dies down to make space for genuine intimacy and commitment. In some cases, a partner’s charm burns so intensely––and falsely––that it fuels a cyclical pattern of obfuscation and abuse followed by periods of whiplash-like positive reinforcement. The resulting “trauma bond” can be challenging to break free from without professional support.

 

On this episode of Transforming Trauma, host Emily Ruth welcomes back trauma bond expert and author Nadine Macaluso, LMFT, Ph.D., to introduce her latest book, Run Like Hell, A Therapist’s Guide To Recognizing, Escaping, Healing From Trauma Bonds. The pair also discuss the markers of a trauma-bonded relationship and how to use NARM to address the Complex-PTSD that routinely develops as a result of these abusive unions. 

 

Dr. Nae, as she’s known on social media, has harrowing personal experience with the phenomena of trauma bonding. At 22, she married Jordan Balfort, the infamous stockbroker immortalized in The Wolf Of Wall Street. Once Jordan dropped his “mask” the fairytale romance devolved into a nightmare of infidelity, narcissistic abuse, greed, and addiction. Fueled by her determination to help others facing similar struggles. Dr. Nae received her master’s degree in counseling, a Ph.D. in somatic psychotherapy, and trained to become a NARM Master Therapist. 

 

“We hear the word trauma bond thrown around so much in the zeitgeist,” Dr. Nae begins. “I want folks to understand what it is, the seriousness of it, and how many people it affects.” While trauma bonding is most often associated with romantic couplings, the phenomena can exist in any relationship (be it familial, social, or professional) where intermittent abuse reinforces the imbalance of power. 

Dr. Nae credits the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM) for creating a collaborative container where her clients can reconnect to and trust their authentic selves. ”A lot of people fear falling in love again. I know I did,” she admits. “But you can if you want to learn from this and about yourself. That doesn’t dismiss the pain and the horrible suffering, but there is hope on the other side, and I’m proof of it.”

 

Transforming Trauma is grateful to Dr. Nae for sharing her story, educating our community on trauma-bonded relationships, and offering hope to survivors.

 

RECOMMENDED EPISODES

 

TT: Healing from Traumatic Love with Dr. Nadine Macaluso

TT: Championing Relational Therapeutic Solutions in a Quick-Fix World With Dr. Jonathan Shedler

 

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

 

Run Like Hell: A Therapist’s Guide to Recognizing, Escaping, and Healing from Trauma Bonds

The Wolf Of Wall Street

Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm With Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists 

Christopher Gerner, PhD.

Kristin Neff, PhD.

 

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At age twenty-two, Nadine Macaluso married Jordan Belfort, the nefarious stockbroker portrayed in the Hollywood blockbuster “The Wolf of Wall Street”. Their marriage began as a fairytale, but once they were bonded, Jordan’s “mask” began to slip, and acts of infidelity, narcissistic abuse, insatiable greed, and uncontrollable drug addiction became Nadine’s nightmare.

 

The horrific relationship inspired Nadine to become a psychotherapist specializing in narcissistic abuse, trauma bonds, and Complex-PTSD. Her private practice quickly flooded with clients, predominantly women, recounting an all-too-familiar story of abuse with a pathological partner. Perhaps this scenario resonates with you.

In Run Like Hell, Nadine brings you her personal experience and years of expertise to explain the mental health of the narcissistic pathological lover, the traits of people who are the perfect “victims” of these PLs, how you can leave a trauma bond safely, and how you can heal.