Transforming Trauma: Episode 176

What happens when a social worker brings heart-centered innovation into a rural school community grappling with intergenerational trauma? On this episode of Transforming Trauma, Emily Ruth Ruth sits down with Kelly Cook to explore how trauma-informed care and a deep respect for agency are transforming not just individual young lives, but families and entire school systems. Their conversation reveals both the profound tenderness and the daunting reality faced by children and teenagers subject to adverse childhood experiences—and the powerful hope that positive environments and conscious care can bring.

Kelly shares how her lifelong empathy for the “underdog” led her from a childhood of noticing mistreatment to a career devoted to supporting vulnerable students. Describing her early years, Kelly recalls, “I would see someone who was being left out or being bullied or being mistreated in some way, and I would come home and I would just sob to my mom.” Those formative experiences, combined with later personal grief, solidified her sense of purpose. When she returned to school to earn her Master’s of Social Work and later took on the challenge of being the first school social worker in her district, Kelly recognized both the need for systemic support and for internally grounded tools to manage the toll of working in high-stress environments.

In her work, Kelly beautifully weaves elements of the NARM model into school-based therapy, adapting the approach to create space for agency in children and adolescents—sometimes for the first time in their lives. She observes, “The question itself of what is it that you most want for yourself out of our time together today…is so impactful because very rarely if ever a teenager is going to be asked that question.” This simple act of inquiry plants seeds of possibility, creating room for students to begin reconnecting with themselves even in the face of daunting circumstances. Kelly reflects, “It feels like I found myself,” echoing the words of a student who began to awaken to her own needs after months of gentle, affirming support.

Kelly’s commitment extends beyond individual sessions. She played a pivotal role in building school-based programs anchored in multi-tiered support, guiding colleagues to recognize behavioral and emotional indicators of trauma, and advocating for greater resources. Her leadership transformed her solitary position into a collaborative team effort, as she describes the journey “from one single social worker to now having a team of social workers,” with the effort rooted in “healing as a family and healing as a community.”

The episode touches on the challenges of working with families who may initially distrust outside intervention, underscoring the importance of relational safety and collaboration. Kelly affirms, “If a parent is not okay, their kids are not gonna be okay. And if we can help support parents and caregivers in their good work that they’re trying to do…and give them better resources…then that’s the best kind of work.” Her approach, informed by NARM’s “50-50 balance” of mutual humanity, attends to the needs of both the child and caregiver, reminding parents, “their needs are of the utmost importance in a home.”

Transforming Trauma expresses deep gratitude to Kelly Cook for her candor, compassion, and pioneering spirit. Her story is a testament to the resilience of young people, the healing potential of trauma-informed care, and the ripple effect created when just one person chooses to show up—with curiosity, humility, and heart.