Transforming Trauma: Episode 155

Living an authentic life has always required a fair amount of courage. Familial expectations and societal pressures are nothing new, after all. What has evolved, however, is how these arbitrary norms are enforced. The online world has created an environment in which targeted intimidation and persecution are accepted, and even encouraged too often. Virtual bullying is especially vicious when directed at folks holding marginalized identities. One woman has opted to thrive online and off, despite the risks involved. She’s setting an example of what it means to live authentically rather than merely survive and adapt.

On this episode of Transforming Trauma, host Emily Ruth welcomes Brianna Wu to discuss her journey to wholeness following abuses she suffered as a result of the high-profile hate-infused hashtag campaign known as Gamergate, as well as coming out publicly as a trans woman. Brianna shares candid insights regarding the challenge of maintaining equanimity amid the ongoing barrage of hostilities, the nonlinear work of healing from childhood trauma, and the rewards of living with integrity. 

“I’ve had a dynamic life,” observes Brianna, the former video game developer turned politico, media presence, and podcast host. “Most people started off knowing me for Gamergate (a scandal that gripped the gaming industry in 2014). It was the start of this playbook we see with basically hunting people online when they have opinions you don’t like, sending them death threats, rape threats, going through everything they’ve ever said, trying to destroy them.” 

The harassment playbook has morphed since Gamergate, with perpetrators of the strategy becoming more emboldened. Unfortunately, she lives daily with vicious attacks for her being a trans woman who seeks to assimilate and live a normal life with her husband and career. The perpetual fight has taken a toll. “I really wonder if it’s a mistake I made being a public figure,” she confides. “I mean, it certainly has not made me happier or made my life easier.” 

As painful as some of her life choices have been, Brianna acknowledges her agency in the decision-making process and affirms her commitment to moving forward. ”I came out, after 20 years, as publicly trans,” she says, adding, “It’s never been that I’ve thought people couldn’t figure out I was trans. I just didn’t want it to be the focus of what people were thinking about with my work.” 

Brianna is well aware that her identity as a trans woman sets her up as an easy target for other people’s anxieties.  And yet, it hasn’t lessened the impact of these attacks.  Therapy has helped her to manage the trauma. “I noticed this in the trans community a lot, that there’s a tendency to treat clinicians as the enemy, which has never really made sense to me.” Therapy has also helped strengthen her resolve to take a more empathetic approach to controversial issues. “It’s not like I don’t understand having to fight for every piece you get. I can see the TERF  (trans-exclusionary radical feminist) gender-critical point of view, and there’s validity in that, which I’ve tried to speak out against. Still, it just feels like you’re in the middle of a firestorm,” Brianna laments. “There’s an adult discussion we need to have that we’re not having.”

Brianna recognizes that attempting to bring compassionate communication into spaces that lack an appreciation for moderation and basic empathy can be retraumatizing. “Sometimes the battles I choose to fight are me repeating these maladaptive strategies I had with my parents, where I’m so used to not being loved that I’m willing to go out and make career decisions that no one is going to like,” she admits. “That’s helpful for society, but it has a cost for you.” Through it all, Brianna has created a beautiful life of acceptance, activism, and romantic partnership. She refuses to live as anyone other than herself. “There’s no choice.”

Transforming Trauma is grateful to Brianna for her courage and candor. We’re honored that she allowed herself to be vulnerable with us and hope that her integrity provides an example of strength to our community. 

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

The Dishcast With Andrew Sullivan

GUEST CONTACT & BIO

Dollcast

Rebellion Pac

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Brianna Wu is a former videogame developer turned politico. Best known for the 2014 Gamergate scandal where women in the game industry were targeted with extreme harassment, Wu ran for congress and is the host of Dollcast.